Forgiving

I wasn’t going to include this page until I saw an article in today’s London Times (30th April). I don’t normally enjoy reading columns by Giles Coren, I don’t like his jokey style. But today, in his serious column, he wrote about a young autistic girl who had committed suicide at a boarding school. Or rather, he wrote about her father who said that he wouldn’t be taking to court the school or other organisations that tried, but failed to help his daughter. How refreshing that was, because as Giles said, many people try to extinguish their pain by looking for blame or seeking compensation. The article doesn’t actually mention the word “forgiveness” but it is obviously at work here.

It is a truth that, if we fail to forgive someone who has hurt us in the past, it is we who suffer. The other person will be going blithely on their way, not a care in the world. And we carry the burden of pain because we can’t forgive.

It is not easy. The late Archbishop of Cape Town, Desmond Tutu wrote a book about it with his daughter, Mpho. The title is “The Book of Forgiving” and it provides exercises on how to alleviate the pain of previous pain. and for sure they know all about that.

And, of course, forgiveness is central to the Christian religion (as with other religions I am sure). God forgives us our sin but part of that gift is that we should forgive others who have hurt us. I used to think that there was some kind of a “deal” that we had to wait for the other person to apologise, then we could forgive them. But an apology from the other party is not part of the deal – we should forgive unconditionally.

I included this page because it is central to prayer and healing.